Taking the Plunge

 Soundtrack Selection: Breathless by the Corrs (I hate this song, but it fits)

So it's been awhile...and I've gotten a lot of grief from several people because I've all but abandoned this blog. Sorry. Here goes...

When I was six, our neighbors had a pool that the whole neighborhood used to swim in pretty much whenever they wanted. The last day of school came and went and the next morning mom, Artie and I headed across the street, grabbed the key from "Aunt" Bobbie and spent the afternoon at the pool. Artie had a best friend, Brian Cantel. Brian and Artie were complete jerks as kids. Why? Their favorite thing to do was hold my head underwater until I couldn't breathe, let me up in the knick of time and laugh hysterically as I gasped for breath (The bitch of it was as I yelled out to my mom for help, she just waved and said, "You kids be careful.").

What no one knew at the time, even me, was that I was learning a valuable lesson. You see sometimes in life, we just have to take the plunge. At times it feels like we can't breathe, that our brains are about to explode and that if we don't seriously lay one into the side of our assclown brother's face (yes, that did happen...how did you think I got out from under that three feet of water), we might drown in our own fear and uncertainty. But sometimes, you just gotta take a deep breath, take the plunge and see what you're really made of.

I'm a few years into this new life I've created for myself. The first couple of years, I gave myself some space to keep is safe and have fun. Per usual before I knew it, "just enough" wasn't quite enough for me. As soon as I got comfortable, I got uncomfortable. At work, my over-achieving self landed me in a new position that not only tested my leadership skills but has taken me to the brink of insanity. I love my job but honestly, there are many moments these days as the "big boss lady" I wonder, "Why did you have to be so ambitious."

In my personal life (aka my dating life) I didn't get involved. I've dated and even liked a few of the guys that came and went, but I never let my guard down (stone cold Katie Mac). I could always find a reason why he wasn't good enough, smart enough or just not enough to get attached to. And I always held back just enough that when I started to get attached and a little sentimental I could get out, and did, without much emotional sacrifice (I'm cold like that).

But there comes a time in every girl's life, when you've just gotta take the plunge. I realized that the coddling was over and life had resumed its relentless, normal status of ass-kicking. I came to see that no matter how scary it felt, at some point I had to put myself out there and once again, take a deep breath, duck my head under water and live my life. But no matter what happens, whether it's my mother, my girfriend or my gbff (gay best friend forever) telling me so, I know that in the end I am strong enough to come up for air in just the  knick of time, kicking and screaming all the way (and perhaps clocking somebody in the face depending on the lasting damage)!