It's Not That Bad!

Soundtrack Selection: Grandmother's Song by Vienna Teng

It's not that bad. I promise. I drink alone all the time, at bars in Flagstaff, AZ, restaurants in Las Vegas, boats on the Seine in Paris and my Washington, DC bedroom (gasp!). It's actually a lot of fun! If you can muddle through the sometimes awkward pick up lines from 21-year old boys with Zack Efron hair cuts, you actually get the chance to meet really interesting people and get occasional free drinks from the bar tender. 

And you wanna know what else is not that bad, being single in your 30s cue foreboding horror flick music! I know, it's not what everyone leads you to believe (everyone=the media; your male religious leader; certain insecure married friends; the creators of those frozen lasagne commercials; and lest we forget cue that horror flick music again...your mother) but it is not this nightmare-producing, tear-jerking, meaningless, depression-filled life that "everyone" (same meaning as above) makes it out to be.   Nuclear war...bad; Pandemics...bad; Donald Trump's hair...horrible; being 31 and single...far from the end of the world. 

Sure, it can be tough being single at a time in your life when everyone your age is tying knots and spitting out babies. It's a struggle to be the only girl in your group of friends who can't add to the conversation about diaper rash remedies and baby food recipes. Then, one night you're watching TV and you realize that happy single women your age are no longer in beer commercials with equally happy, good-looking men watching football. Your age group has even moved beyond the dreaded David's Bridal commercials and are now regularly featured in ads for lavender baby wash and singing glow worm toys. I was sick this weekend, so I watched a lot of TV. The only commercial I saw with a single woman my age was for Breathe Right strips. Really, I'm 31 years old and all you have to say to me is, "Here, buy these strips and maybe you will stop snoring so you don't have to sleep alone for the rest of your life." 

Although it may sound like it, I'm not bitter (ok, well maybe just a little...but really a miniscule amount that I'm chipping away at slowly). I just don't understand why women like me are repeatedly cast in lives that are incomplete, when in fact, being single in your 30s can bring the amazing gifts of self awareness and acceptance that are hard to find in other periods of your life. And ladies, the numbers show that a large majority of us are going to be alone in older age for at least a decade or more, so gird your loins!

So this is a blog for everyone who is curious about this phenomenon of being 30, female and single. It's not Sex and the City, folks (unless Sex and the City has an episode I missed where Carrie sits home and does her accounting homework on a Saturday night while drinking Charles Shaw Cab Sav and watching Step Mom on TBS for the 104th time), but it's also not just for the mutants at table nine (reference from The Wedding Singer). Instead, it lies somewhere in the continental divide between nuclear family heaven and the hell of the city hospital psycho ward.

Trust me, it's not as bad as you think. So belly up to the bar, order a cocktail and let’s tell some stories.