You've Gotta Have A Goal!

Soundtrack Selection: Running on Empty by Jackson Browne

Kit DeLuca got it right at the end of Pretty Woman when she says to her new roommate, Angel, "Ya gotta have a goal? Do you have goal?" And if you and I were standing on Hollywood Boulevard in 1990, Kit would probably ask us the same question.

During my first year out of college, I sat at a bar in Fells Point with my two bosses, Dan and Mary, and explained my crisis of identity. For 22 years of my life, everything was focused on graduating from college. Now that I had completed that task and was planted pretty firmly in my first job, what the hell was I supposed to focus on now? Mary and Dan explained to me how important it was to identify some tangible goals that I could reach in the next year. For example, Mary's was improving her tennis game (I don't remember Dan's now, but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with red wine).

Once I got settled in singledom again, I found myself reconnecting to my 22-year-old self. I finished grad school, settled into a job I loved but I was having a hard time recreating goals for myself. So I returned to that conversation at the bar with my mentors and decided to set a goal.

During my first year in DC, I watched my incredibly disciplined and athletic roommate, Lauren, train for a marathon. Week after week, rain, sleet or snow, Lauren would exit the house outfitted in her running gear and complete her training runs. Linsday, my other equally athletic roommate, greeted me many mornings at the coffee machine, drenched in sweat and perky as always, after running upwards of six miles (I, on the other hand, was still in my bath robe and my only day's accomplishments were inhaling a bagel and blowing my nose...I have morning allergies). 

At this point, I was not a runner. I hated running. But things change...plans change...and I had changed. Inspired by these two talented, beautiful women, I said, "Well, f-you old Katie, I'm gonna run." Since then, I've run a couple of races, crawled around in some mud and tightened my tush in the process. No, it wasn't always glamorous. There were many days of walking blocks and heavy huffing and puffing (and then there was the speeding up and trying to hide the fact that I felt like I was going to have a heart attack when a cute guy approached), but I did it, and I'm a better girl for it!

No, you don't have to become an Olympic athlete. That's not the point. The point is: you need to have a goal, just like Kit says. Maybe you want to learn a new language, become a tango dancer, memorize the Periodic Table of Elements. It doesn't matter what it is, find out what makes you tick, what will light a fire under your heiny and do it. If my sister-in-law can run her own photag business while working full time as an attorney and raising two kids under three, you can find a hobby.

And I promise, it won't make you selfish or self-centered. It WILL make you a better friend, a better mother (one day), a better wife/partner, but most importantly, a better you!

(And then maybe Richard Gere will climb up your fire escape, ask you to marry him and you'll live happily ever after...but I doubt it).